Harry Potter and the One Where Everybody Finds Out
by friends-16uk
Summary: Mix Harry Pottter characters with a Friends script in story format and what do you have? Quite a humorous R
1. With all the Kips

AN: This is a HP fanfic with a plot borrowed from Friends. So if you recognise the title you should already know what's going on, however the actual Friends part doesn't come into play until about half way through because I've had to introduce the story. There is also some character and plot artistic licence but stick with it.  
  
IMPORTANT NOTICE: This is not, I repeat NOT, what I think actually happened behind the scenes of OotP but it's the only place where this story would fit. On the other hand I do think there's something to the rumour of Ron & Hermione already going out in the fifth book.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Friends. Some- ok a lot- of the dialogue comes directly from the HP fifth book and Friends episodes: The one with all the Kips, All The Resolutions, Chandler's Work Laugh and last, but defiantly not least, Where Everybody Finds Out.  
  
Oh, and I'm only saying all of that once so the disclaimer goes for every chapter.  
  
**Harry Potter and the One Where Everybody Finds Out  
  
** (To the friends theme tune)  
So no one told you life was gonna be this way, [four claps]  
Voldemort, lessons taught, at death's door every day.  
Been through hell and it's only the fifth year,  
People dead, fights between friends and the end is drawing near, but  
  
We'll be reading you,  
'Cause they really are great books.  
Hope the sixth comes soon,  
With the films you must keep up.  
Let this fic be good,  
And please don't sue.  
  
"Ron I've had enough of this!" shouted a very angry and slightly red-faced Hermione. It was the day of Harry's arrival at Grimmauld Place and spending so much time alone together with Ron had been slowly driving her crazy- not least because she'd had a crush on him since last year. Of course, if she was being honest with herself she may have realised that it was way more than a crush and had certainly started before last year.  
  
"I don't even understand what you're angry at me for!" yelled back Ron. After being separated from Hermione for the first part of the year and after the Yule Ball Incident he'd come to the startling realisation that he fancied his best friend (Something that's been fairly obvious to the rest of the world since the whole slugs and kill with bare hands thing). Now he going crazy by being with her all the time and never being able to actually do anything about it.  
  
"You have no idea that your protectiveness is driving me insane!?" she shouted incredulously.  
  
Ron gulped; he'd kind of hoped that she hadn't noticed. "What protectiveness?" he asked innocently.  
  
Her voice began to steadily rise, "I don't know, Ron, maybe it's the way you wont let me go into a room by myself, maybe it's the way you wont let me walk up the stairs without a guard, maybe it's the way you wont let me leave this bloody house without checking who's with me or what time I'll get back!"  
  
"Merlin's beard Hermione, you swore."  
  
"Well that's just how angry I am with you. So explain yourself. Now!"  
  
Ron thought to himself contemplating how much to tell her. He decided on just enough to keep her off his back. "Right. Okay, look...."  
  
"Ron just spit it out for heavens sake!"  
  
"Fine! Fine I'll tell you!" All ideas of censuring what he was going to say left as the anger came. "I'm crazy about you okay!" Hermione stood there stunned, "don't look so surprised it's been obvious since that bloody ball.  
  
I care about all of my friends and right now one of them is sending vicious owls to bite chunks out of my hand for not telling him information that, to be honest, I'd quite like to know myself."  
  
He took a deep breath. He'd told her this much so he might as well dig the hole deeper in the hope it would swallow him up and he wouldn't have to see the rejection and pity in her face that was sure to be there. That was if he ever got the confidence to look her in the eyes.  
  
"So I need to have some control back." He continued, "We've got no responsibilities except for cleaning and that's one thing- the _one thing_ I can protect you from. I don't want anything to happen to you, I couldn't cope..." His voice died in his throat as he realised how much he'd said. He was about to try and take it back, call it a joke, when Hermione walked over and took her hand in his.  
  
"I never knew you felt that way," she spoke softly.  
  
"Yeah well. I'm sorry I said anything, it's obvious you don't feel the same way." He was stopped by Hermione's fingers on his lips.  
  
"I think there are some things you need to know before you start taking back everything you just said." Ron stood with his eyes glued onto the floor but Hermione moved those fingers on his lips to under his chin and forced eye contact. "One, I can take care of my self okay," he merely nodded, "two, that was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me and three, you're not the only one who was obvious at that ball." Ron's eyes widened in surprise.  
  
"You mean that-"  
  
This time he was silenced by a kiss. Their lips met briefly and they both pulled away quickly not sure what to do next.  
  
"What happens now?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Aren't you the one who usually has the answers?" Ron joked. Hermione merely glared at him but some of the tension was released from the room. "Are we, y'know, together now?  
  
"I don't know. Are we?"  
  
Ron's eyes met hers, "I'd like to think so."  
  
"I'd like to think so too," Hermione smiled. The both stood with stupid lovesick looks on their faces when the door began to open and a teenage boy with green eyes and messy black hair entered the room cautiously.  
  
Hermione leapt at him, "HARRY! Ron, he's here, Harry's here! We didn't hear you arrive! Oh, how _are_ you? Are you all right? Have you been furious with us? I bet you have, I know our letters were useless- but we couldn't tell you anything, Dumbledore made us swear we wouldn't, oh, we've got so much to tell you...."  
  
............................................................................................................  
  
That night after Mrs Weasley had checked they were in bed two people couldn't drop off to sleep. Ron made his way downstairs to the kitchen for a drink, watching out for the screeching painting and the horrid umbrella stand on his way downstairs. When he got there he found he wasn't the only one up past midnight.  
  
"Hi Hermione," he spoke quietly.  
  
She jumped in surprise but smiled when she saw who it was, "Hi."  
  
"Well today was...."  
  
"Interesting?"  
  
"Yep that'll do."  
  
Suddenly Hermione slumped in a seat at the table and rested her head against the cool wood, "What are we going to do?"  
  
Ron looked at her slightly confused.  
  
"You heard him 'You've still been together' that's what he said- so jealous of being left out. I wasn't sure how he'd react to...us, and now, oh I don't know what to do."  
  
Ron drew up a chair and put his arms around her, "I don't know how Harry would react either but do you want to... end this?" his stomach churned at the thought.  
  
"No. No, I don't think I could cope with us just being friends any more."  
  
"Me neither. So what do we do?"  
  
"I suppose we could..." Hermione began.  
  
"What?"  
  
"We could keep it to ourselves. I mean we could just not tell him. At least not straight away."  
  
"That means nobody knowing about us. You realise that don't you?"  
  
"Yes," she whispered, "I don't like doing this but I don't know what else would work."  
  
"Thinking about it I doubt we'd make an announcement anyway. Probably jinx it."  
  
They both smiled. "Ron, knowing our, for lack of a better word, colourful relationship, this will end in a week."  
  
He leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips, "I'm not sure if I'll let that happen."  
  
............................................................................................................  
  
The new couple kept it quiet at the house where there were too many people to get any alone time together. They'd also agreed that Harry was always to be their priority so it wasn't until the train ride to school that they'd had any chance to do anything like they would in a normal relationship.  
  
They were about to board the train when Harry commented on the carriages.  
  
"We're – well – Ron and I are supposed to go into the prefect carriage," Hermione said awkwardly.  
  
"It's a pain going down there, I'd rather – but we have to – I mean, I'm not enjoying it, I'm not Percy." Ron finished defiantly.  
  
"I know your not," said Harry and he grinned. Ron smiled back as he and Hermione left him with Ginny.  
  
"I feel bad now," said Ron to Hermione on the way to the prefect meeting.  
  
"I know what you mean, but we're prefects, it's not going to be the same as last year," she looked up at him her eyes full of joy, "Ron we're prefects!"  
  
Ron smiled at the way she could get so excited about more responsibility. "I know we've got this meeting and everything but afterwards do you fancy spending some time together," he asked raising his eyebrow suggestively.  
  
Hermione easily joined in, "I'm sure we'll be able to find _some_ time to do something along those lines."  
  
"Really."  
  
"Sure why not." Then she slipped into planning mode, "But we have to make sure we get back to Harry reasonably quickly, someone's bound to notice if the Gryfindor prefects take longer than any others."  
  
"How about we just say that you wanted to do a bit more work?"  
  
"What you're saying that me being a bookworm is a good thing now?"  
  
"It has its uses."  
  
Hermione hit him lightly as they entered the prefect's compartment.  
  
............................................................................................................  
  
The meeting had been dull and boring. The only good thing being that Ron could hold Hermione's hand under the table without anyone noticing, which turned out to be a blessing when they found out who the Slytherin prefects were.  
  
"Oh look it the mudblood and the weasel," Malfoy hissed quietly, not loud enough to attract the attention of the head girl and boy, "What no Potter to hold your hand? Well I'd watch your back from now on, that is if you learnt anything from the chamber of secrets."  
  
"Shut up Malfoy. Why don't you go join your father and get a mask to cover that ferret face of yours," Hermione replied coolly while she could feel that Ron was about to explode beside her.  
  
Although the argument was stopped from going any further by a look from the head boy Pansy was quite happy to continue it after the meeting had finished and everyone was heading out, "So Granger planning on any more love potions this year? Or is the one on Krum still working fine?"  
  
Ron retorted protectively, it was second nature to him by now, "Pansy if the best you can do is Malfoy then if Hermione were single she'd still be better than you."  
  
"Standing up for your girlfriend are you. I wouldn't hope for much in the way of presents Granger or Weasel would have to sell off those lovely dress robes from last year," Malfoy smirked.  
  
Hermione had had enough and pushed Ron out of the room quickly before he did something stupid. They managed to find an empty compartment probably vacated for a short time while students visited their friends.  
  
"Why the hell did you push me out of there!?" yelled Ron.  
  
"What would you murdering Malfoy achieve?"  
  
"Well I'd be saving countless future lives for a start."  
  
Hermione was trying to stay calm but it was becoming more and more difficult, "So should I have just stood there and let you tell more of our secrets?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"'If Hermione was single' Ron. You said _'if'_. We're just lucky Malfoy wasn't listening too closely and just went for his usual banter."  
  
Ron had calmed down now, ashamed of what he'd let slip. "I'm sorry."  
  
"I know."  
  
He looked around him at the empty room, the sides of his mouth turning into a grin, "Well it looks like we're alone."  
  
"Yes. So what?" Hermione teased.  
  
"This is what." He leaned in and bought their lips together. Still fuelled by the conflict with Malfoy their kisses became long and passionate, Hermione fell back onto one of the benches and Ron quickly tumbled on top of her.  
  
Meanwhile, after the Stinksap catastrophe, as Harry hadn't been in the best of moods, Neville had disappeared to the bathroom. While on route he thought he'd say hello to Seamus and Dean and had some idea of which compartment they were in. Making his way up the train he came to the likely looking door and slid it open.  
  
"Hi guys I-"but whatever he was going to say was soon forgotten as he saw the sight in front of him. Walking in on strangers getting off with each other was embarrassing but seeing your friends could scar you for life.  
  
Ron jumped up as soon as he'd heard the door. Not really wanting to turn around he forced him self to see who'd caught them. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Neville. Maybe something could be salvaged from this mess. Hermione just sat on the seat with her head in her hands.  
  
"Erm- hi Ron- I didn't mean to," Neville stumbled, he turned to go when he realised who the female was in the room, "Hermione?"  
  
"Look Neville-"Ron started.  
  
"You- and her. I mean this is unbelievable, great, but unbelievable. We never thought you two would actually work it out. When? How? When?"  
  
Ron smiled, "I think you said that."  
  
"I'm sorry about this," Neville grinned back nervously  
  
Hermione spoke up now she'd had chance to regain her composure, "It's okay, it was our fault we should have been more careful."  
  
"It began during the holidays," explained Ron, "we haven't told anyone because we don't want to make it a big deal."  
  
"But it is a big deal!"  
  
"How do you think Harry would react?"  
  
Neville thought for a moment, "Yeah you're right you might want to wait a while before telling him."  
  
"So do you think you could keep this to yourself?"  
  
He saw the desperation in their faces and sighed, "Fine but I don't feel completely comfortable with this."  
  
"Thank you Neville," said Hermione, she stood up and faced him, "Why don't you head back. Believe it or not Ron and me do actually have to do rounds." Ron put his arm around her shoulders a grin on his face as he looked down at her.  
  
"Okay but don't be too long." Neville laughed and he left the new couple.  
  
"Well that could have gone worse," sighed Ron.  
  
"We're going to have to be a lot more careful," Hermione agreed.  
  
............................................................................................................ 


	2. Resolutions and work laugh

The months seemed to pass quickly and soon Christmas came to Hogwarts. Ginny was on her way to the Gryfindor common room when she was forced to take the scenic route after someone had let off dung bombs down the usual corridors. This new path took her through some of the lesser-used passageways of the school and after a while she was sure that she was going round in circles. Finally Ginny heard some voices she recognised and followed their echoes. After about five minutes she could make out the words: -  
  
"How come its us that has to put these bloody decorations up?" said a voice that Ginny recognised as her youngest brother's.  
  
"Ron! Don't swear." Yes that was defiantly Hermione. "You're a prefect, you should be setting a good example."  
  
"To who? Nobody uses these corridors. Except maybe Peeves who then attacks my with bl- with ruddy tinsel!"  
  
Ginny had finally found the source of the noise had had to bite her tongue to stop herself from laughing at the sight of Ron. Her brother was wrapped, Egyptian mummy style, from head to foot in silver, glittery tinsel. The two prefects hadn't seen her yet as she stood in the shadows and she was about to make her presence known when something very strange happened.  
  
Hermione was walking closer to Ron and begun to help disentangle him. This wouldn't have seemed strange if it wasn't for the fact that she was giggling at the same time- Hermione hardly ever giggled and certainly never in front on her brother. Intrigued Ginny crept closer to the wall and watched with interest.  
  
'You know Ron," Hermione chided but smiled at the same time, "maybe if you just ignored Peeves he wouldn't try to strangle you."  
  
"Yes well that's easy for you to say. Here I am being chivalrous and you're laughing at me."  
  
"And how is yelling at a poltergeist being chivalrous?" Ginny had the very odd thought that Hermione was being flirtatious.  
  
Now fully rid of the offending Christmas décor Ron had his arms free and Ginny gasped in surprise when he placed them snugly around Hermione.  
  
"Well I had to get his attention didn't I? I'm hardly going to let him prank my girlfriend," as he dipped his head to kiss the other prefect his last words were barely above a whisper, but Ginny heard them clear enough. With a silent shriek she leapt backwards and disappeared as quickly as she could, stumbling in shock.  
  
............................................................................................................  
  
Somehow she made it to the common room and mumbled the password. Inside was devoid of human life and Ginny was about to scream with frustration when she heard footsteps coming from the boy's dormitory.  
  
"Oh, Neville, I have such a problem!" she yelled as he descended the stairs.

Neville ran to her quickly when he saw her shocked face, "Ginny what's wrong?"

"Okay. Okay. Okay. Neville, I have got to tell you something." She dragged him to the sofa.

"What is it?" he asked concerned.

"Oh merlin, it's so huge. But you just have to promise me that you wont tell anyone," she figured that if Ron and Hermione had kept their secret long enough for them to be that comfortable with each other then her spreading the news could do more harm than good.

Neville suddenly closed up, "Oh no, no-no-no-no! I don't want to know!" He'd had enough of secrets and lying to Harry had been slowly eating him up since September.

"Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!"

"I don't care, Gin! Look, I am tired of being the guy who knows all the secrets but can't tell anyone!"

"What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?" she asked excitedly, temporarily forgetting about the earlier gossip.

"Ginny stop it!"

Slowly she calmed down and took deep breaths. "Okay," she began, "so I was in one of the corridors when-"

"I'm not listening to you." he interrupted.

Ginny sat in silence again thinking about what she'd seen and then remembered what Neville had said about knowing too many secrets. Conspiratorially she looked him in the eye, "Okay then, I'm not going to tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?"

Neville thought for a moment, "Well, then it wouldn't be a secret. So yes, that would be okay."

Ginny tried to work out the best way to do this. Then she had an idea, "Hey uh Neville, would mind going with Ron and Hermione on their next prefect patrol?" she asked innocently.

"You mean when they're usually alone and don't get back till late."

Ginny nodded and he questioned her, "Do you know something?"

"Do you know something?" she replied.

"I might know something," Neville confessed.

"I might know something too."

"What's the thing you know?"

"Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know," Ginny wasn't about to give in first.

"I can't tell you what I know."

"Well then I can't tell you what I know."

"Okay, fine," Neville ended and they both became silent. "You don't know," he sneered, "you're just trying to get it out of me."

"All right, fine." Ginny finally snapped, "How about _I_ go over there and _I_ will walk up to Ron and _I_ will ask him that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know!"

"You know!" he gasped.

"And you know!!"

"Yes, I know!!!" Neville admitted, relief filling his voice.

"Ron and Hermione!? Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?" she was so excited to be actually able to admit to what she'd seen.

"Too long! Oh merlin, Gin, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody though, they're so weird about that!"  
  
Suddenly they both remembered that they were in a public place and both quietened down to tried to contain their excitement. Settling down on the sofa Neville proceeded to tell Ginny about how he'd found out on the train and she replied with her own story. However, she soon began to get annoyed when he couldn't tell her the intimate details she wanted.  
  
"Look Ginny, I've told you everything I know. It's not that big of a deal, so Ron and Hermione are together." He squirmed under her glare.  
  
"I can't believe you would say that! I mean come on. This is a huge deal, not least because they've managed to keep it quiet for over four months! I need more details like... who initiated the first kiss?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Is he romantic with her?" Yuck she thought I can't believe I just asked that about my own brother.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Are they in love? I mean we know they've fancied each other for ages but..."  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"You don't know anything!" she yelled in frustration.  
  
"What do you expect? - Lads just don't talk about things the way you girls do." He paused, "I do know one thing though."  
  
"What?" she asked eagerly.  
  
"They got off with each other right there on the couch." He laughed out loud when she leapt up from where she'd been sitting.  
  
............................................................................................................  
  
AN: Come on people I'm starting to get depressed at the lack of reviews. If you press the little blue button then I promise to send you joy down the modem, okay?  
  
Thank you BrownPryde and Liza my only reviewers- there do the rest of you feel guilty now?  
  
Lol, it doesn't really matter I suppose. I bet no one is even reading this but if you are then there is just one chapter left, or maybe two depending on how disjointed it is.  
  
Btw I'm writing this AN past midnight and am very tired so plz forgive me if it makes absolutely no sense.


	3. Everybody finds out Part 1

After DA, in the middle of December and just before the holidays, Ron and Hermione helped Harry pack away the pillows (Hermione hurrying Ron as she realised that both Harry and Cho were stalling). Waving goodbye they headed down the corridor and hurried into a disused classroom next to the toilets. Unbeknownst to them Ginny and Luna were also heading in the same direction.  
  
Ginny stopped out side the classroom, "Well, I'm going to the bathroom."  
  
Luna nodded and leaned on the door waiting for her to come back. After a minute she noticed the sound of voices coming from behind the door. Carefully she edged it open and was about to say hello when the couple started to kiss- to put it mildly.  
  
Quickly she shut the door and backed away feeling slightly sick.  
  
"What?" Ginny asked as she returned from the little girl's room startled by Luna's surprised face.  
  
To Luna the shock still hadn't sunk in and she started screaming her answer, "Ron and Hermione!!" she muttered but she was getting louder, "Ron and Hermione!!"  
  
"Oh my God!" Quickly Ginny dragged Luna away from the room.  
  
"RON AND HERMIONE!!!!  
  
Ginny knew that she had to get the girl to shut up, "Luna!! Luna!! It's okay!! It's okay!!  
  
"NO! THEY'RE TOGETHER AND DOING THINGS!!"  
  
"I KNOW!! I know!! I know."  
  
Luna's eyes widened with understanding, "YOU KNOW!?"  
  
"Yes, I know! And Neville knows! But Harry doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!" Worriedly she glanced back at the room of requirement, "I think we're okay- Cho's keeping him busy." A slight look appeared in her eyes but it was gone so quickly that Luna didn't see it. "Come on and I'll tell you everything."  
  
The girls headed to the library where they could talk however they didn't really expect to get interrupted by Hermione and Ron- or Harry for that matter.  
  
Luna's shock had calmed and happiness was coming through at the thought of the two most stubborn people in the world finally getting it together. "You mean whenever Hermione and Ron were doing prefect duties or going to check something with a teacher or -- Oh! All that time Ron actually wanted to do his homework."  
  
"Uh-huh, snogging. Snogging. Oh, and actually working, this is Hermione we're talking about here."  
  
"Oh, I can't believe it! I mean I think it's great! For him. She might be able to do better."  
  
Ginny was about to stand up for her brother when Neville entered, searching for a book to help with potions homework. He smiled when he saw the two of them. "Hi girls," he said.  
  
Ginny quickly beckoned him over, "Neville! Come here! Come here!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Luna just found out about Hermione and Ron."  
  
He quickly glared at her, "You mean how they're friends and nothing more?"  
  
"No. Neville, she _knows_." Ginny emphasised, "We were outside an empty classroom and Luna saw them doing things through a crack in the door. Luckily she moved away before being scarred for life."  
  
Luna decided to take an active part in the conversation. "Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Ginny knows?" she asked him.  
  
"Yes," he answered after a second of confusion, "but do you know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know! Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over."  
  
"Or, we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own," Luna suggested in a scheming tone of voice.  
  
"What do you mean?" questioned Ginny.  
  
"Well every time that they say that they're going to do homework we'll go with them and constantly ask for help."  
  
Ginny smiled evilly, "Ohhh, I would enjoy that!" She was also slightly disappointed that she hadn't thought of it herself.  
  
"No-no-no! Wait Gin; you know what would even be more fun? Telling them." Neville was starting to get slightly hysterical at the idea of even more lies that he'd have to keep.  
  
"Err, no, I want to do Luna's thing. Come on Neville we're just having a bit of fun." She wasn't that convincing.  
  
"I can't take any-"  
  
Luna cut in, as it was obvious he was going to be stubborn, "You don't have to do anything! Just don't tell them that we know."  
  
Ginny and Luna turned towards each other, effectively shutting Neville out of the conversation. "So how are we going to mess with them exactly?" Ginny asked.  
  
Neville just groaned in defeat.  
  
"Well, you could use your position as Hermione's best female friend and Ron's sister."  
  
"Okay, but what about you." Her friend's smile was slightly scary. "Luna what are you going to do?"  
  
"Well I'll use the strongest tool at my disposal- my sexuality."  
  
Ginny and Neville stifled their scoffing laughter as Luna gave them a death stare. Looking around they noticed a distinct lack of people so the three of them quickly headed towards their separate dormitories after realising how late it was.  
  
That fateful evening was the night of Harry's vision involving a snake and Ginny's father, and therefore was the last time the three of them would see each other until after Christmas. The plan would have to wait.  
  
............................................................................................................  
  
And wait they did, it wasn't until the Valentines Day Hogsmede visit that the girls got the chance to put their scheme into action. With Harry heading down to the village with Cho, Luna started her, almost strategical, attack on Ron.  
  
Ginny sent the prearranged signal to move as he started to head down to the quidditch pitch. By the time he'd reached the main entrance Luna was waiting for him with a dangerous look in her eyes and was humming "Weasley is our king" under her breath.  
  
"Hello Luna," Ron said carefully. He still wasn't sure how to act around 'Loony' Lovegood.  
  
"Hey Ron!" she answered enthusiastically. Out the corner of her eye she could see Ginny keeping watch. Confident that she had Ron's attention and no audience Luna began her performance. "Ooh, wow that uniform looks great on you," she complimented.  
  
"Really?" Ron said confused and now slightly frightened.  
  
Gently she fingered the sleeve material "Yeah. The material feels so soft and the colour brings out your eyes. Have you been working out? "  
  
Now Ron was getting really scared, "I have been doing a lot of quidditch practice I suppose." Luna then started giggling uncontrollably. "Are you okay?" he asked though feeling that he was in some way being made fun of.  
  
"Well, if you really want to know, I'm -- Oh! I can't tell you this."  
  
"Well you should talk to Ginny then," he pressed while trying to get away. Unfortunately for him she had managed to manoeuvre herself between him and the doorway.  
  
Luna wasn't about to let him get away yet. The boy was dense when it came to girls and she wanted to make absolutely sure that he knew what she was doing. "Well actually you're the one person I can't tell this too. And the one person I want to the most," she said coyly.  
  
"What's going on?" Things were not going well for him: Hermione wasn't on great terms with him at the moment, Angelina was going to yell at him for being late and now Luna was flirting outrageously.  
  
"I think it's just that I haven't been with a guy in so long and how sometimes you're looking for something and you just don't even see that it's right there in front of you wearing a flattering sports robe-- Oh no, have I said to much? Well it's just something to think about. I know I will." Inside she was cursing herself- this was so embarrassing. But it was their own fault, Ron should just admit to his affair with Hermione.  
  
Ron gulped as she finally let him past, letting her hand graze his arm as she left. Quickly he made his way to quidditch whilst Luna hurried to the meeting in the Three Broomsticks with Hermione.  
  
............................................................................................................  
  
"Hi." Hermione whispered to Ron. It was the night of Valentines Day and the two hadn't seen each other since breakfast due to that annoying game that was taking up so much of their precious time together and Harry's article for the Quibbler.  
  
"Oh, so you're talking to me now are you." The couple was standing in the middle of the common room, which was empty, as everyone had gone to bed.  
  
"What _are_ you on about Ron?"  
  
"You were rather snappish with me when we were talking about Snape earlier. You do realise that if your going to carry on arguments throughout the day Harry is going to ask what started them off."  
  
"I was not snappish! And you were the one not talking to anyone when you came back here!"  
  
Ron disregarded her last comment; he didn't want to talk about quidditch tonight, "Yes you were!"  
  
"No, I was not!"  
  
"Were to!"  
  
Suddenly she realised how loud they were. "Ron, quiet down," she whispered harshly.  
  
"Don't worry I've already put a silencing charm on the room." He spoke at a normal volume.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"That's two things you've underestimated me for now."  
  
Now it was Hermione's turn to be confused (it didn't happen very often) but she kept her face plain, she didn't want Ron to have any more ammunition in their fights. In truth she had been harsh earlier but how did he expect her to act when he was going to spend the most romantic day of the year on a broom.  
  
Ron used the moment's silence to close the space between them and kiss her lightly on the lips. He broke away and rested his forehead on hers. "I've wanted to do that all day," he whispered.  
  
"Me too, and I'm really sorry that quidditch isn't going as well as you want it to. But I _know_ you'll come into your own soon," she replied, the earlier argument forgotten.  
  
"Thanks. Now put this on," Ron said holding up Harry's invisibility cloak, "I didn't steal it- just borrowed it," he defended when he saw the look she gave him.  
  
"Why?"  
  
Ron didn't answer straight away but took her hand, also disappearing under the cloak, and led her towards the portrait, "I'm going to show you how you've underestimated me twice today." Even more confused, Hermione followed him silently.  
  
Ten minutes later they arrived at the Room of Requirement.  
  
"Oh Ron," Hermione gasped as she entered the room. All around were burning candles framing a small, round table coupled with two chairs placed opposite each other. Rose petals carpeted the floor in majestic sweeps and soft classical music floated in down from the ceiling.  
  
"I know that you wanted to spend Valentines together and I know there's only what-"he glanced at his watch, "one minute left of it but I really wanted to do something nice for you."  
  
"It's beautiful, it really is Ron."  
  
He led her towards the table, "Now I hope your hungry but I asked the house elves- nicely- if they'd make us a romantic meal for two." Hermione smiled and they set about enjoying the very late evening together.  
  
About half way through dinner Ron asked Hermione how the interview went.  
  
"Well, it was hard for him to do I think, but he does seem to look better after every telling."  
  
"So everything went well?"  
  
"Yes, except..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Luna kept annoying me. She gave me some odd looks and kept singing that dratted song under her breath."  
  
Ron gulped and told her about his run in with the girl earlier.  
  
"So what are saying? That Luna was flirting with you?" Hermione was a little doubtful.  
  
"I'm telling you I think Luna fancies me."  
  
"That's not possible."  
  
"Ow!" Ron felt a slight dent in his pride.  
  
"I'm sorry it's just that I don't think your Luna's type."  
  
"Oh, well I can't hear that enough."  
  
"I'm sorry," Hermione laughed, "I think that you just misunderstood her."  
  
Ron was starting to get a little irate, "No, I didn't misunderstand, okay? She was all over me! She kept talking about how my uniform brought out my eyes for crying out loud!"  
  
"Those eyes?" she mocked and stared straight into them.  
  
"Well I'm not wearing it now am I" he defended.  
  
They both burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation but that didn't stop the cogs in Hermione's brain from beginning to work out Luna's real motive.  
  
............................................................................................................  
  
It was a couple of days later before Hermione saw Luna's flirting first hand. Harry was at Occlumency leaving Hermione, Ron, Neville, Luna and Ginny in the Great Hall after dinner, they were the last ones there and hadn't notice the decreasing numbers of people as they got into a heated Quidditch debate. Eventually Ginny noticed the lack of company and decided it was time to put 'phase 2' into action.  
  
"Hey Hermione, what are you doing now?" she asked, "Want to do some homework with Luna and me?"  
  
Hermione shot a quick glance at Ron that you wouldn't have seen unless you were expecting it, "Uhh, you know actually I was going to work on the prefect rostra."  
  
"Oh." Ginny said knowingly and gave Luna a look.  
  
"Hey Ron, want to do it with me?"  
  
"Sure, I'll do it with you." Hermione's scathing expression made him want to retract his suggestive words.  
  
"Okay great, hold on a sec!" Ginny said as she disappeared into her book bag and reached out a thick wad of paper handing it to Hermione. "Oh, here you go! I went round the prefects and spoke to the head girl- this is all the info I got for you."  
  
Hermione just sat with her mouth hanging open, "Ginny you really shouldn't have gone to all that trouble."  
  
"No, she wanted to, and I helped," said Luna with a to-innocent-to-be-true look on her face. Neville pretended to drop a fork on the floor to hide his laughter at the sight of Ron and Hermione's faces, which were flickering between disbelief and acting as if they were happy at an odious job made easier.  
  
Ginny and Luna got ready to leave the table, "Okay we actually have work to do so we'll see you tomorrow. Night guys," said Ginny.  
  
"Bye Ron," Luna spoke, and then leaned in close to his left ear and whispered, "I miss you already."  
  
As soon as they left he turn to Hermione, disgust filling his features, "Okay, did you hear that?"  
  
Hermione was sitting in shock at what she'd heard, "Actually, I did."  
  
"Okay, so now do you believe that she's attracted to me?"  
  
Instead of agreeing with him a thousand thoughts went through Hermione's head until finally it clicked, "Ohhh. She knows about us."  
  
"Are you serious?" he gulped at the idea of the daughter of a newspaper editor knowing quite a big secret.  
  
"Yes, Luna knows and she's just trying to freak us out! That's the only explanation for it!"  
  
"Okay but what about my beautiful eyes and strokeable arms," Ron rebuked as his pride took yet another knock until he realised how ludicrous he sounded, "She knows!" Hermione just nodded at his epiphany and then had another one of her own when she remembered Neville.  
  
Slowly she turned to him, "So Neville," she said in a sweetness with an edge that made him want to run far, far away, "Luna knows about us."  
  
"Well I didn't tell them," he defended.  
  
"Them!? Who's them?  
  
He silently cursed his slip, "Err, Luna and Neville".  
  
"Neville," pressed Ron.  
  
"And Ginny. I would've told you but they made me promise not to tell."  
  
Ron started cursing under his breath, but at Ginny's name an idea came into Hermione's head.  
  
"I'm sorry!" Neville continued, "But hey, it's over now, right? Because you can tell them that you know they know and I can go back to knowing absolutely nothing!"  
  
"Unless..." Hermione began to voice her idea.  
  
"No! Not unless! Look this must end now!"  
  
"Hey Mione what is it?" Ron asked carefully, slightly scared at a look of mischief on Hermione's face that he hadn't seen since the time turner of third year.  
  
"They think they are so clever messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So..."  
  
Ron clicked "Ahh yes, the messers become the messies!"  
  
The gleeful look on both of their faces made Neville feel as if he'd rather tempt fate with Snape at the moment than be at the receiving end of the couple's revenge.  
  
............................................................................................................  
  
AN: I would just like to say that The One Where Everybody Finds Out is my all time favourite episode of Friends and in my opinion series 5 was the best of the program's 10-year run, I can only hope that I do it justice.  
  
Thank you to all of my reviewers- these are the best messages I've ever had and I'm so glad to have found people who love both HP and Friends as much as I do.  
  
Finally there is only one chapter of this left and it will be up this weekend. 


	4. Everybody finds out Part 2

Hermione suggested that they implement their plan before the quidditch game on Saturday. She told Ron that the longer they took the more likely the secret was to come out, but in truth she needed something to take his mind off the game and the Slytherin taunting.  
  
On the Friday morning of that week Luna received a letter at breakfast in the Great Hall. The front was addressed to her but also told her to read it alone, so, signalling to Ginny, she existed the hall and entered an empty classroom. As Ginny made to follow she missed the looks of satisfaction on Ron and Hermione's faces.  
  
In the classroom Luna was reading the letter. "It's from Ron," she explained at Ginny's questioning look. Luna's face looked horrified as she finished the parchment, "Oh Merlin's beard," she gasped, "he wants to go for a date in the Room of Requirement- _tonight_!"  
  
"Are you kidding!?" Ginny exclaimed snatching the letter.  
  
"No!"  
  
"I can not believe that he would do that to Hermio- wait hang on a minute." Ginny quickly disappeared and returned moments later with Neville in tow, "Do they know that we know?" she asked him.  
  
"No." he said, avoiding her eyes.  
  
"Neville," she glared.  
  
He broke, "They know you know."  
  
"Ugh, I knew it! Oh I cannot believe those two!"  
  
Luna couldn't believe what she was hearing, "They thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?" She then had one of Hermione's famous revelations, "They don't know that we know they know we know!" Behind her Neville banged his head against the wall in depression. "And Neville, you can't say anything."  
  
"I couldn't even if I wanted too," he sighed.  
  
............................................................................................................  
  
On their way to class Ron was accosted by Luna, Hermione hung back within eavesdropping range and Ginny waited behind. Hermione smiled to her self as she thought about how panicked the girls would be about the date. Luna was defiantly going to decline- she had to. Unfortunately for her Luna and Ginny weren't about to back down easily.  
  
Luna turned on the charm, "So Ron, I'd love to come by tonight."  
  
Ron hid his surprise badly, "Really?"  
  
"Oh absolutely. Shall we say, around seven?"  
  
He tried to regain his composure. "Yes," he managed to push put of his throat.  
  
"Good. I'm really looking forward to you and me being together." Luna arched herself suggestively, and tried to ignore the gagging noises coming from Ginny's direction.  
  
............................................................................................................  
  
That night it was time for the date. Outside the room Ginny and Luna were perfecting their final preparations.  
  
"Show time!" Ginny laughed.  
  
"Okay. Gin, you got some perfume?" Luna asked.  
  
"Here you go." Ginny sprayed it in the air and Luna twirled in the mist getting a feel for her dress robes and high heels.  
  
Inside, the room was decked with similar furniture to Ron and Hermione's earlier date only this time there were no dimmed lights, flickering candles or rose petals. The room had read Ron's wishes and he wished to be anywhere but there.  
  
"All right, it'll be great! You just make her think you want to be with her." Hermione persuaded.  
  
"Okay, listen, how far am I going to have to go with this?" asked a worried Ron. Yes, this had started out as a game but what if something happened to ruin what he had with Hermione?"  
  
"Relax, she's going to give in way before you do."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"Because I know everything."  
  
"Even this!?  
  
"Well it's been your favourite catch phrase for the past five years. Now, do you really want Ginny and Luna to win?" he shook his head, "Then just do a bit of acting." She pecked him on the lips, "Good luck," she whispered and ran behind a screen conveniently placed within hearing distance and equipped with spy holes, as was the door to the outside corridor for the use of Ginny.  
  
Back outside Luna mentally prepared herself for the winding up of Ron in this fake date.  
  
Ginny passed her some bottles and wished her luck, "Okay Luna, now I'm going to listen from right here."  
  
With that Luna knocked on the door with the neck of the bottles and Ginny quickly ducked out of sight.  
  
"Luna," Ron greeted.  
  
"Ron," she replied.  
  
"Come on in." He opened the door out wide for her to pass.  
  
"I was going too," she laughed trying to break the awkwardness, "Umm, I brought some butter beer. Would you like some?"  
  
"Sure." Inside his head Ron had absolutely no idea what he was doing.  
  
Luna walked up to the table and two large glasses appeared. She quickly poured the drinks but at the same time dragged out the seconds for as long as possible.  
  
"So, here we are. Nervous?" she asked.  
  
"Me? No. You?" hope in his voice.  
  
"No, I want this to happen," she replied confidently, hoping to break him soon.  
  
"So do I," he didn't sound as confident and Luna smiled at the thought of an early victory.  
  
They clinked their glasses in toast and took a sip. The sip turned into a gulp, until they had both chugged down the warm liquid. Unfortunately not that much time had been used up and the beer hadn't warmed them up like it usually did.  
  
"I'm going to think on some music," half suggested Ron.  
  
Luna tried to think of something to contribute. "Maybe... maybe I'll dance for you," she said before really thinking about it and as the music began she tried to move seductively to the slow, yet oddly disjointed, beat.  
  
"You look good."  
  
"Thanks. Y'know, when you say things like that it makes me want to snog you senseless," inwardly she cringed at the thought.  
  
"Well, why don't we think up a bed?" Ron suggested hoping to end this soon by the audacity of his question.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Oh, do you not want to?"  
  
"No. No! It's just... first, I want to share strawberries and chocolate and see where it goes."  
  
Ron swallowed hard and wished that he'd never raised the stakes. "Well that would be nice," he lied, "I'll go get the chocolate."  
  
Using that as an excuse he quickly ducked behind the screen and started whispering to Hermione frantically, "Listen, this is totally getting out of hand! Okay? She wants us to eat strawberries with chocolate and _see where it goes_."  
  
"She's bluffing." Hermione calmed.  
  
"Look, she's not backing down."  
  
While Ron was busy having a mild panic attack with Hermione, Luna went to seek support from Ginny.  
  
"He's not backing down," she explained worriedly, "he went to get chocolate."  
  
Just then Neville appeared walking down the corridor to meet them, "Aren't you finished yet? Someone'll spot you out here."  
  
"Neville, just look at it this way, the sooner Luna breaks Ron the sooner this is all over and out in the open," Ginny explained.  
  
"Okay just hurry up." He then decided to offer some advice to speed things up, "Luna take the lead more, this is Ron we're talking about- it took him four and a bit years to ask out Hermione even after she basically told him to after the Yule Ball."  
  
Meanwhile, back behind the screen Hermione was thinking up the confectionary and fruit, she was also starting to get a 'little' competitive, "Now, you go back out there and you seduce her till she cracks!"  
  
"Okay! Just give me a second." Ron sighed and took a look around the room, "Is that a book!"  
  
"Of course," she shrugged, what else was she meant to do behind there?  
  
Ron then left Hermione to carry on with show. When he came from behind the screen and saw Luna fiddling with the door he thought his luck had turned, "Oh, you're going?" he said trying to hide the relief from his voice.  
  
"Umm, not without you, lover," she tried to make her voice husky and follow Neville's advice be making the first real move.  
  
Ron swallowed hard as she moved nearer. "I'm very happy that we're going to be together," he managed to stutter.  
  
"You should be." Finally she was about a step away from him when she whispered, "I'm going to kiss you now."  
  
Ron tried to sound confident, "Not if I kiss you first."  
  
Luna daringly wrapped her arms around his shoulders while Ron cautiously touched her sides loosely. She faked a murmur of pleasure.  
  
"Well, I guess there's nothing left for us to do but-but kiss," spoke Ron hoping that he could bluff Luna into breaking it off now.  
  
"Here it comes. Our first kiss." Luna also pushed, trying to get him to admit what they all knew.  
  
Very slowly their lips moved together but their eyes remained open until it turned into a very odd staring competition.  
  
That was it for Ron and he broke, "Okay! Okay! Okay! You win! You win!! I can't kiss you."  
  
"And why not?" Luna challenged.  
  
Ron shouted out the first thing that came to mind- the only thing that was ever on his mind, "Because I'm in love with Hermione!!"  
  
Luna gasped, "You're- you what!?"  
  
Hermione, Ginny and Neville leapt out of their hiding places in shock.  
  
"Love her! That's right, I...LOVE...HER!!! I love her!!" he shouted, not caring if the whole world heard. Ron walked over to the girl of his dreams and put his arms around her waist. As she returned the embrace he looked into her face and whispered, "I love you Hermione."  
  
"I love you too Ron." She looked deep into his eyes and gasped at the tenderness she saw. How had they never told each other that before? Slowly they leaned together and shared a gentle kiss while the others watched with stupid smiles on their faces.  
  
"I just- I thought you guys just fancied each other, I didn't know you were in love!" exclaimed Luna, wonder shining in her eyes.  
  
Ron glanced at all of his friends and laughed inside at the thought of them being so happy simply because he and Hermione admitted the truth. "And hats off to Luna. Quite a competitor."  
  
Neville's face smiled with glee at the realisation that there would be no more secrets, "All right! So that's it! It's over! Everybody knows!"  
  
"Well actually, Harry doesn't. And nor does the rest of the school," reminded Hermione.  
  
"Yes, and we'd appreciate it if no one told them yet." Ron asked pleadingly. Around the room people nodded although Neville didn't try very hard to hide the look of annoyance on his face.  
  
............................................................................................................  
  
Sometime in the 6th year....  
  
Coming back surprisingly early from a quidditch practice Harry walked to the back of the library seeking Hermione after she and Ron had been missing from the common room,  
  
"Oh...my god."  
  
He was pretty surprised by what he found.  
  
THE END  
  
............................................................................................................  
  
AN: There you go its finished, if you've waited till the end of the fic NOW is the time to review. So if you're reading this perhaps NOW would be a great time to CLICK the little BLUE BUTTON.  
  
If you want a sequel you'll have to tell me if you want it to carry on in the Friends style or if I should have Ron and Hermionw explain it to Harry in my own way. Any other ideas are always appreciated and finally I'd like to thank: -  
  
Marauder Angel

HermyRonGrl

meghan

orlandoisahottie

BrownPryde

Liza  
  
For their wonderful reviews. If I missed anyone out I'm sorry, blame the computer.


End file.
